What happens in Korea stays in Korea...

After being in Korea for a little over a month, there are certain things that are guaranteed to happen. Here are some things that become a way life after a while.

• from your obscured view of Seoul Tower on your way to work, you can differentiate between mist, fog, smog and just plain airborne crap.
• you hear "T-Money" and don't instinctively think it's a name of a rapper.
• motorcycles nearly running you down on the sidewalk no longer faze you.
• you learn to ignore the people selling their homemade CDs on the subways.
• your local supermarket chain (Lotte Mart, E-Mart, etc.) has some of their employees dressed either in traditional Korean hanbok (한복, dress) or dressed like female anime characters. And then you see one of them on break at the food court... so imagine a tired-looking Sailor Moon at a food court slurping back some noodles.
  
• the local supermarket chain has greeters like Wal-Mart, but not only do they "bow" welcome to you, they also wipe down the push handle of your shopping cart on your way in.
• your neighborhood has crappy sanitation and power lines tangled all over the place above you as you go down the street, yet you consider the international district of Itaewon (이태원) to be much seedier and more of a slum.
• you see South Korean soldiers out on the streets in full garb on a daily basis.
• you can differentiate between the "good" and "bad/hooligan" US soldiers.
• you see more Dunkin' Donuts locations in Seoul than any major city on the west coast of the United States.
• every car you see is either a Hyundai, Kia, Renault/Samsung, Daewoo or Ssangyong. The other day, I saw a Ford and a Honda next to each other near Seoul Station, and nearly had a heart attack due to the surprise.
• you find out about Dokdo (독도).
• you know how to avoid discussing Dokdo.
• you know not to call Dokdo "Takeshima."
• you know how not to display any affection for Japan, regardless of whether you have any or not.
• you start thinking that 20 MB per second is a "slow internet connection."
• on your way to work, there'd be at least one convenience store.
• on your way to work, there'd be at least one hagwon (학원, private education academy).
• on your way to work, there'd be at least one PC bang (PC방, internet cafe).
• on your way to work, there'd be at least one "budongsan" (부동산, real estate office).
• you avoid looking inside the wastebasket next to toilets in the public washrooms. (Those in South Korea will know exactly why.)
• an address means diddly squat when you're actually on the streets trying to look for it.
• seeing two men on the streets with their arms wrapped around each other's shoulders doesn't draw any assumptions of homosexuality.
• being drunk in public is acceptable (and sometimes encouraged).
• you see cabinets full of gas masks on the platforms of subway stations.
• avoiding flying blobs of spit and phlegm while on the street becomes a life skill.
• the word "dong" (동, neighborhood) stops having sexual connotations, once you realize that you live in one.
• the subway train losing power between Seoul Station and Namyeong Station no longer alarms you.
• a phrase like "I'm not going to drive... I'm in a hurry, so I'll take public transit" makes perfect logical sense.
• you know that "b" is actually pronounced like "p," and "j" is actually pronounced like "ch," and "g" is actually pronounced like "k," and so on.
• when you order something from a Korean restaurant, you'll get more than what you order; in particular, you'll probably get kimchi and salad.
• being a millionaire is nothing to brag about, since 1 million KRW is only something like $940 CAD.
• you find out why there's a "Don't throw your key away" sign at the "love lock fence" at the foot of Seoul Tower.
• you know that takeout delivery will likely provide you with real (non-paper) plates and utensils, and you know what to do with them afterwards.